`“ You know, my spiritual path walking friend/partner, you walked into a can of worms in Pandora’s Box with me?! Careful what you ask, you just might get it! Also this Bless-ed Curse thing with me was not born out of the shallow end! I went to the bottom of the deep end to get it! My involvement in the Lyme Juice ain’t no simple lightweight pancake!! ~Mitchell
I know, my dear friend. I know.
If there is one thing you never have to worry about with me….I don’t ask empty questions that I don’t want a response to just to be polite. That’s just not how I am.
When people ask me how I’m doing, I usually respond with “Breathing.” Because I know they don’t want to hear the truth, and I refuse to answer with their expected polite BS.
It’s funny to me, now…..I look back….at all the years I spent as an angry youth (my wrinkles prove it!)……I used to call that place in my head that I would get lost in….the Catacombs. And I remember warning friends that it isn’t a place they would want to visit. I used to spend hours there….pondering my disdain and hatred. The Catacombs……they weren’t pretty, but they were mine.
I’ve since closed the vault. I haven’t buried the lessons or the information I got from it, but I don’t go to that place anymore. It doesn’t serve me.
I wonder how much of our getting lost and off of our “path” so to speak….how much getting lost in anger and resentment, and all of those so-called “negative” emotions………how much allowing all of that into our lives when we are “healthy” plays a role in our getting sick with this disease.
This has certainly been a long journey for me. It started for me somewhere between 11 and 16 years ago. It’s hard to pinpoint when the symptoms started and whether they were Lyme or not. Where and when I THINK I was infected….would be on the 11 year mark…going on 12.
I look back at where I was emotionally and spiritually then……I was just crawling out of the catacombs. I still had one foot in. I wasn’t willing to seal it off yet. That took another 6 years or so. And in the last 6 years…..I can’t tell you how much I’ve grown/changed….since diagnosis…….tremendous.
Doing this website has turned out to be much like a Vision Quest for me. It has been its own journey. I have learned more about people and myself since starting this project, than I have in all the years I’ve been seeking “enlightenment.” It happened by accident. That’s not what I set out to do, but that’s what happened.
Now that the end is nearing, or at least the end of the beginning…….I have begun to notice a pattern….and it has raised my eyebrow…peaked my interest….made me wonder…..
What if? What if…..all of this…..all of us, the quickly increasing number of people dealing with this nightmare/lucid dream……..what if…..we are all just learning how to take care of ourselves….finally….truly, completely, and literally…..physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and otherwise…..what if…..what if this has all been a collective agreement….subconscious….to FORCE our society to wake up in a time when we have all fallen into a deep dead sleep…..the walking dead, remember?
In many ways my Vision Quest has been returning to me in the past couple of years……reminding me of my purpose…..reminding me that my purpose is ever-changing. Reminding me of who I am, celebrating who I have become, and feeling gratitude for who I was. I think I told you before that I believe I was infected while out on my Vision Quest back in 2001. It was the one time on that quest I felt rage…..while being bitten by a bunch of deer flies. Funny……isn’t it?
So, I ask again…what if? What if this is how we are all supposed to learn how to take care of ourselves…and in that sense, each other?
Also this Bless-ed Curse thing with me was not born out of the shallow end! I went to the bottom of the deep end to get it! My involvement in the Lyme Juice ain’t no simple lightweight pancake!!
Is this “Bless-ed Curse” born out of our need to go to the deep-end first? And how many of us choose to stay there, rather than kick and scream our way out? Are there some that just get caught up in the whirlwind by accident…..or are we all part of this for a reason? Maybe it falls into the 2% chaos theory….I don’t know. But, it becomes ever more clear to me, that there is more to it….and we all have more in common than we may want to acknowledge.
As the Winde blows……I will come again! 😀
OMG! PHEW! Scary Good! We have truly arrived together on “THE SAME PAGE”! –Mitchell